What Animal Are You?

I had a moment today at work. Two, actually. One moment of trying very hard not to break out with a fit of insane giggles, and one of real brain-pain. You see, I'm a nanny. And one of the children I work with is about 2 years old. Not all that funny or mentally taxing, as far as it goes... Which, if you've ever been alone with a 2 year old for more than five minutes, you know isn't very far-- they are hilarous, and they make you go through all sorts of painful mental hoops!

But you see... We were reading a book about "Senses" together-- Pooh and his friends give examples of hearing, of seeing, etc... Well, we'd read the book three times that day already, so the fourth time... I started asking my little 2 year old to tell me what noises different animals in the book make... and we went from there... "What does a kitty cat sound like?" "I can make a sound like an ELEPHANT!" and so on-- right up until the moment when I said...

"I can sound like a COW!" Taken in an adult context, this is a really hilarious statement. And at that moment, that is how I heard myself-- as an adult, claiming to sound like a cow. Calling an woman a 'cow' is a real insult-- and talking like one isn't much better... but ADMITTING IT ABOUT YOURSELF-- now that's one I hadn't heard before! Of course, I was having a serious conversation with a 2 year old... so no laughing was allowed. Boy, was that tough! I think I almost swallowed my tongue.

And the brain-bending? Well, I operate in what I term "nanny-mode" when with small children. I automatically filter out of my consciousness and my vocabulary all inappropriate material-- no swear words, no sexual innuendo that would make your friends laugh, no slang (okay, not much slang), none of that, and a soft loving maternal voice on top! It's just not appropriate to be around children any other way... unless you have to use your "mommy voice." (If you own a pet, or have raised a child, you know what that voice is. It's the "don't argue with ME, young lady!! Your behavior is WRONG, and it is going to stop-- RIGHT NOW!" voice. Smart people--and pets-- heed the Mommy Voice.) It takes me a little while to get out of "nanny-mode," once I've been in it for a few hours... I can't just snap my fingers when I get off work, and be back to talking like a normal adult to other adults... I tend to use words like "dear" and "oopsy" and "I need to use the potty" and "all-better" if I try to hold a conversation with anyone right away. It gets me some really strange looks. A bit like that look you get when you sing along to the elevator music, and the door opens before you stop singing... (C'mon- admit it!)

Today, when I got into my car to drive home from work, the radio came on with the engine. The song was one I'm not a particular fan of, but that I've never been able to NOT sing along with when I heard it... and the chorus is something like... "yo-diggity, I wanna bag it up!" My brain just couldn't take singing along with that song (all about sex and slang and booty and all) while still being at least partly still in nanny-mode. Trying to have those two very different personas share space in my one little brain was just... painfully twisted. I spent a few minutes after that just sitting in the car, blinking, and trying to figure out what was right, what was wrong, and who the hell cared, anyway! Thank goodness I wasn't already driving when it happened. I'm not sure I'd have been able to pay attention the road for a minute or two there.

So, yeah, my day was probably not one you'd label "exciting!".... but it kept me amused.