Unaskables

Had a great talk with my best friend today. We stay in closer contact now that we live across the country from each other than we did when we attended the same school... at least in some ways. On the other hand, nothing will ever replace my memories of us going to the grocery store at 10:45pm and frantically picking the bananas out of a giant bin of nerd candy, trying to get a good-sized bag of them before the store closed at 11pm. We actually did this bizarre ritual more than once. And I highly doubt that anyone else would ever stand in the frozen food section of that same grocery store with me after studying for finals all weekend... laughing uproariously at the lima beans.

We ended up talking about how we're getting together at a Library Conference later this year... and what we each needed to know about each other's group of librarian friends, but would not be able to ask. It made me start thinking about all the things you can talk openly about with a good friend... but that would probably make you turn three shades of purple and say "um.. ff-ut--uff...mmm" a lot before you hopelessly affronted the person you tried to discuss it with OUTSIDE your friend group. Especially if you guessed wrong. At least... I think it would be that way. Sometimes you get lucky with strangers, too...

Things like "What is your sexual preference? Does your boss know?"
and
"Do you have an incurable disease?"
and
"Do you practice a Pagan Religion?"
and
"Do you get easily offended? Because you just said the dumbest thing!"
and
"I hate dogs." (Really- nobody would ever speak to you again after THAT!)
and
"Have you ever noticed how funny frozen vegetables can be?"
and
"Do you actually like the fruit-flavored condogms?"
and
"Did you go to school past high school?"
and
"Did you see that movie, Dude, Where's My Car? My favorite scene was..." (I spend a lot of time with intellectuals. We don't admit to watching corny movies with fake-looking aliens.. oh, except the Trekkies... that's different. That's a cult.)
and
"What the heck difference is there between watching dumb fake-looking aliens and watching STAR TREK, anyway??"
and
"So... how many divorces have you had?"
and
"Do you actually LIKE your mom? Because I..."

You get the picture. You probably have more topics to add to the list, too. All those questions that really help you understand and interact the people around you at a much deeper and more respectful level... but that society says you really can't talk about directly with strangers. And, specifically, that people SHOULD BE offended if you DID ask them, because somehow these things are supposed to be shameful. Isn't it sad? They are just part of living and getting through life as we know it... and often these same experiences have greatly enriched our lives and our understandings in surprising ways. For example, I have often noticed that the people who knew what they wanted to do with their lives, and just went out and DID it are often more knowledgeable and easier to learn the job from than the people who had to go out and get a bunch of degrees first.

It's an interesting topic. At least, I think it is. If it wasn't, I wouldn't be writing this. And I am constantly surprised by the people I bump into-- which ones can discuss these questions comfortably and which ones turn and run the other way. I don't have an answer yet, either. So, if you DO... let me know. DO the green ones have more fun? What kind of fun do you think they have? I mean, really. Think about it. They only melt in your mouth, and that's still illegal in several states. How much fun can they be having, and why does the color of their shells matter? In our enlightened age, it's supposed to be what's INSIDE that counts... and how you use it, of course.