ReconFiguring

I just love when I come up with a catchy title!!

Had an appointment to go play this morning-- wanted to have a good handle on where I'm at and how I feel about it before I went. About once every two months, I get together with the kids I used to nanny, and their mom, for a morning of activities that really take two attentive adults to pull off. This time, it was a HUGE PLAY STRUCTURE FORT THING with about six slides, lots of twisty turns, climbing opportunities, ropes, tunnels, ladders, HOLY CRAP this thing was cool!! OH-- and a nice swing set on the side. With two children under the age of four, you really do need an adult for each of them. Just to make sure they do okay on the stairs.

Mom always asks how my life is. Great people-- and I love catching up with the whole family whenever we can coordinate our schedules. But there it is. I chose to stop working for them. Eight months ago when I really put my job search into high gear. How is my life doing, now, really??

So I thought through it. I realized that if I'd actually gotten any of those distant library jobs, I would never have met the awesome group of folks who make up my primary social network just now. I would never have gotten into acupuncture (or... I don't THINK I would have...) and started healing my old neck injury. I would never have (again-- speculation) realized just how gifted a listener I can sometimes be... or turned it into my own business practice. I really thought I'd have to wait a few decades to put that aspiration into practice. BUT HERE I AM!!! And the biggest "oh. Hey!" of all? I would not still be around to recognize and cope with certain nameless family illnesses.

With all that in mind, I'm really glad that things have worked out the way they did. Granted, I'd now like to get a reliable source of income... but the awesome thing is that my perspective and knowledge of what that job might look like has expanded considerably, just in the last month. It may even be possible that more than one job exists out there that would benefit from MANY different aspects of my life experience, education, and training to date. And some of those jobs actually pay enough that I could live far far away, and fly home five or six times a year, without hocking my cat for collateral on a loan. I've been doing a bit of recon on that one...

Take Account Coordinating, for example. Here's a general job description:
Coordinates new and existing accounts, focusing on client satisfaction, revenue optimization, and account growth. Communicates with clients on a regular basis, providing support, marketing ideas, product updates, and reporting. Organizes advertising and coordinates scheduling and promotions to ensure client satisfaction and project completion. Assists Account Executives in maintaining and nurturing client relationships.

Supports account team in daily program management activities, such as media tracking, list building, Internet research, copy editing, crafting materials, coordinating scheduling and promotions, conducting pitch calls, developing data bases, implementing strategies and research projects, coordinating mailings, assembling press packets, training kits or other materials, and general office and client support. Participates in internal client brainstorming sessions by offering ideas for each project.

Makes recommendations to project lead on how to improve a project. Collaborates with project/team lead to effectively complete scope of work so that it is top quality but also within the terms of the contract. Assists in managing vendor relationships to ensure deliverables are produced accurately, on time, and within budget. Provides research, data consolidation, and recommendation development used to create internal reports, process documents, and/or industry trend reporting.

Serves as a liaison for the account team to marketing team members and the Corporate Communications Department for the dissemination of information. Executes strategies through writing, editing, proofreading, desktop publishing, and web content. Schedules client meetings and teleconferences for team and helps prepare materials for them. Coordinates event logistics. Represents organization at industry or skill specific meetings or conferences. Crafts audits that can be included in communications plans. Creates work plans, and meets project deadlines as set by team lead. Provides administrative support when necessary.

Now, take this description, and apply it to a company that promotes educational tools to schools, teachers, and students-- kindergarten through college. Does that NOT just put together every job I (or my entire extended family) have ever held, and allow me to do ALL the things I do best-- AT THE SAME TIME?! Even better, the low end of the pay scale starts at $50,000-- plus benefits. SHIT!!! Did they x-ray my LIFE before they wrote that or WHAT?!

Anyway, I'm excited that such a position exists, and that people who attain it are clearly appreciated for their contribution to the success of the team as a whole. THAT appeals to me. And, maybe, I'd be able to take enough time off to come home at regular intervals. To be and do here what I feel I must. To get hugs, get caught up, get fed, and stay in touch with all the wonderful people and places that I've come to love so well in the past eight months.

So far, when I finally got OUT of the hard times in my life, I realized that I'd gained in both opportunities and awarenesses-- parts of me that I would never have needed to uncover if life had been as easy as I'd hoped. With this new possibility (among others) on the horizon, it's easy to figure that maybe there's a beautiful silver lining to this "not-quite-employed" cloud I've been under for so long.

I'll keep you posted.

...And then it was gone...

No shigt, there I was. Trying really hard to be loving and fun, and trying even harder not to laugh at something that shouldn't be encouraged... two days from the end to my second career as a nanny... with three hours of sleep under my belt, in freezing cold temperatures, in the middle of a move that included one car accident, (yes, the one you already heard about), one falsely advertised $19.99 for one day truck rental (try $69 plus gas), two parents, three sick friends, one person's first experience with a frozen pizza, a freaked out psycho cat, and a highly efficient group of people who could not believe that I didn't really want EVERYPOSSIBLETHING to get moved in one go...

When suddenly, the "Stinky Bum Brigade Truck" ran through the house, and it's little boy engine sounds like this: "PPTTHhhhhhhbbbbtttttt".... I had no idea there was such a brigade, but let me tell you that if ever there was, it definitely started and ended in a house full of diapers and solid foods, and it sounded just like that. And... well... I hope that little boy learns some spit-control in his fart noises, or else starts handing out napkins to innocent bystanders when he pretends to be this one particular vehicle. That particular engine noise looks and feels every bit as juicy as it sounds.

And in that moment of complete deadstop when I learned about the Stinky Bum Brigade Truck, and my mind went "...uhhhh...", I realized how very lucky I am. How many people can say they have six friends in one town who would come to their house on a cold day to help them move, while suffering from major head colds, sore throats, thrown out backs, and sundry other commitments and challenges-- and who would still love them after realizing just how "creatively organized" the packing job had so far been.

Then the moment was over, and I discovered that the youngest has added yet another word to her growing vocabulary. "toot" And a new song (my fault, actually, but I learned long ago that the trick to easy diaper changes is to distract-- so I sing, and encourage toy-handling and other sundry oddities during diaper duty)... I think it originally was a few bars out of the Music Man musical... "shee-poopy, shee-poopy, shee-poopy".... but it's just so darn appropriate sometimes!

I think I need to start spending more time with adults.

The Baby Has Oomph

So... Did you know that Mono is one of those illnesses that most people only get once-- and then they develop an immunity to it? Did you know that some people are carriers-- and that you are just as likely to catch Mono by going to the movies (or whatever) as by being in a room with someone who is sick with it? And that by the time you reach the age of 35, there is a 95% probability that you have already developed immunity to the illness, and therefore don't really run any big risks by being around someone with Mono.

Not only that, but it is called a "kissing disease" for good reason-- you have to ingest/inhale the spit droplets from someone kissing or sneezing or coughing on you to actually be EXPOSED to it in the first place. In my experience, I've been exposed to Mono. Repeatedly. And as my costar recently reminded me, our college was that kind of an academic environment where people succumbed to stress, got horribly sick, and still went to class out of fear of falling behind. So even without the wave of Mono that hit my high school Junior year, I've definitely been exposed.

With all that in mind... I'm currently taking care of a 2.5 year old boy with a very bad case of Mono. And his little sister, who (much to my surprise) is nearly ten months old already. He doesn't know how to cover his mouth when he coughs. He doesn't like these early nap-times we keep forcing him to take-- and is so stubborn that sometimes he WON'T SLEEP even though he is falling over when he walks because he's so tired. He also doesn't understand why (now that he's home from the hospital and obviously improving in health-- though he'll be contagious for something like six weeks or more) the world no longer revolves around his every whim. What-- no s'moors power bar for breakfast? What-- you are actually sending me to the time-out chair for whining repeatedly and taking a toy away from my little sister?? You haven't done that in WEEKS! ...sigh...

And yesterday... yesterday was the pivotal day when everyone finally got fed up with everything. That day when you've been under such stress for so long that now, finally, you can relax, and therefore the grumps hit. The WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT-- I JUST NEED SOME TIME OFF FROM EVERYTHING, DAMMIT part of the recovery process. And it hit the whole family at once. Even the baby.

Until yesterday, I never knew it was possible to get bigtched out by a baby. But yesterday was different. Yesterday, it happened a lot. And it was really funny-- when I remembered to take deep breaths, because I was so frustrated by her determination to have it all go HER WAY, BECAUSE SHE KNEW SHE DESERVED IT, AND SHE WAS GOING TO GET IT, DAMMIT! She would scrunch her little face up into a determined and grumpy prune, and just dare me not to help her get what she was going for at that moment (mostly, to be in my arms, playing with the toy her brother was holding). And if she didn't get what she felt was her due at that moment, she'd let loose the "come to jesus" scream. Even some big crocodile tears, and a discontented bounce or two. I tell you, that baby has OOMPH!

Already I can tell that her parents will have to invest in some serious therapy once she reaches teen-hood. Therapy for them. And I also think she'll be an awesome adult: strong, independent, determined. Just like her mom.

I Should Probably Sign Up

I attended the American Library Association Midwinter Meeting this weekend. It's a huge and rather confused event, with all kinds of great information, ways to get involved in "library world," resources, discussion groups, vendors... and that's not to mention all the official meetings that take place every day!

Going into this, I was fairly certain that I wanted to work toward becoming a Public Librarian, and work in the Reference Department, or in the Children's Library. Leaving the conference, I am fairly certain that I want to be an Academic Library Collection Developer, with subject-specific reference desk duties, and hopefully several other hats as well. Variety is important. And it's hard to know what I want to be when I grow up--- it all seems so very far away at times! I'm fairly certain I'll have it figured out by the time I graduate next winter.

I think the biggest challenge for me has been figuring out what events to attend at the conference. It's not just that there are about fifty-plus events for every two-hour time block... added into that are the other 30+ events that are NOT PRINTED IN THE MEETING GUIDE BOOK! Those are usually the interesting ones, anyway, and they've been published on internal listservs instead of on the general information systems. Add to that the number of events which have been rescheduled or relocated, and you have a lot of frantic librarians with very sore feet! To give you an idea of the size of this-- the smaller of the two annual ALA meetings-- I have taken a look at our map of Seattle. There are events regularly taking place at over five hotels in downtown Seattle. There are at least two other meeting locations beyond this, and it is all centered around the Washington Conference and Trade Center-- which we seem to have more or less taken over for the duration. If you are a librarian, and you've never gone-- you should probably sign up.

So far, I've attended several meetings that I really learned from, spoken individually with many practicing librarians and other individuals in library-world who have aided my understanding and awareness of mass opportunities in library-world, and managed to become active in several groups that I'm not sure I signed up for originally... but I will do as soon as I get home, where I left my ALA membership password. Oops.

Knowing that my experiences are probably being filmed for the sitcom of my life (see previous blogs), I have really enjoyed the insane hilarity that pervades much of the Midwinter Meeting. I've also come to appreciate that a majority of librarians have a really sharp sense of humor. I think the three most common denominators among the librarians I've met and worked with here are
-Sharp Sense of Humor (I know, I mentioned that already)
-Sharply Intelligent (Luckily, most also have people-skills...)
-Distinct Desire to Help People (Not always in that order.)

For these reasons, and many more, I am so relieved to find myself in library-world for the weekend. I think I will be very happy to park my professional career on the library-world escalator once I finish my schooling. These people just make sense to me. Even when I don't understand what the heck they are saying. If you've ever interacted with the military or the government on a long-term project, you know how many acronyms these hard-working people can come up with! You might find yourself talking to a CO about the PT requirements for PJs, and needing that info PDQ, before the next DONSA!

Well, impossible as I'd have said this was a year ago, Librarians Have MORE acronyms than both these organizations, put together! And committees... you like committees? You have an idea-- I guarantee we have a committee for that-- plus committees to oversee implementation, advertising, research, publication, collaboration, confirmation, intimidation, and whatever other -ations you can think of in relation to the said "idea!" Yes. We are organized.
We are hella organized. Dangerously so, you might say.

Personally, I attended a meeting of the ALA ACRL's WSS Research Committee, located in the WCC today. I even know what those mean. I also have a mandate to make sure I'm actually ON the ALA'a ACRL listserv, as I'm now responsible for beginning research on an upcoming project, and I need to double-check that I've signed up for the other group whose meeting I particularly enjoyed attending. It has to do with Collection Development in Academic Libraries-- the acronym escapes me...

I think my favorite memory so far-- the one where I wish I'd taken a picture so I could go back and look for hidden cameras later-- was attending an Academic Library Collection Development Discussion Group (acronyms, anyone?). It turns out that this meeting was called so that we could form focus groups and discuss, summarize, and reiterate to the larger group our thoughts on certain Collection Development questions, which most folks had received a list of prior to attending the meeting. I just showed up. I'm still a student. I'm supposed to be along for the ride.
...somehow, I've never been very good at staying on the sidelines...

I ended up sitting with an intelligent and diverse group of five CD librarians, a book store owner, and another student, working toward his MLS degree (just like I am). Our facilitator gave us our question, and requested that each table assign a facilitator, a recorder, and be prepared to present a re-cap to the larger group in the last half-hour. I signed up for the job of taking notes. As a student, I didn't expect to have much to add to what is traditionally an experienced librarian's Management position, and I had very little experience with the topic.

Surprisingly, NOBODY ELSE wanted to take on facilitating the table discussion, EITHER. Realizing that this reluctance was due to a dislike of presenting on the fly, I offered to read my own notes for the group if someone else would facilitate-- as it made more sense for me to read my writing anyway. Thankfully, at that moment someone accidentally volunteered themselves. Our topic was "The Future of ILL and Collection Development in Academic Libraries."

So... I gave my first Committee presentation yesterday. I talked about the future of ILL in Collection Development. I talked to a room of over fifty experienced librarians. I spoke way too fast. I know this because I kept having to slow down enough to breathe. And everyone at the table reassured me that I'd done a good job as soon as I sat back down. That is not usually a good sign. Self-criticism aside, it was a really rewarding experience to be an active participant. I'm not just saying that, either. I have truly missed public speaking opportunities, and the days when mine was the name called whenever a group's speaker or discussion facilitator failed to show up for a campus event. It's not that I like the spotlight-- it's more a burning desire to be helpful, mixed in with a great appreciation for a well-conducted discussion of intelligent ideas and varied perspectives. "Let's go solve something!" seems to be the gist of my mindset at these times.

You'd never know I was once so painfully shy that I refused to go to kindergarten without my mom. You'd never know I spend my free time these days watching corny movies and working as a nanny. It's good to be reminded that an encouraging hug and the willingness to read a special story aloud are as appreciated in library-world as they are in nanny-land. Maybe my professional success can be personal, too. Who knows, by the time I finally get my MLS, I may be running for President!
...I wonder if Congress responds to a good firm "mommy-voice"... Either way, I should probably sign up for some of these groups I just finished contributing to. Next time I go, I want to know what's going on before I get there. Next time, I want to wear more comfortable shoes. Next time, I want to be an official member of the group.

What Animal Are You?

I had a moment today at work. Two, actually. One moment of trying very hard not to break out with a fit of insane giggles, and one of real brain-pain. You see, I'm a nanny. And one of the children I work with is about 2 years old. Not all that funny or mentally taxing, as far as it goes... Which, if you've ever been alone with a 2 year old for more than five minutes, you know isn't very far-- they are hilarous, and they make you go through all sorts of painful mental hoops!

But you see... We were reading a book about "Senses" together-- Pooh and his friends give examples of hearing, of seeing, etc... Well, we'd read the book three times that day already, so the fourth time... I started asking my little 2 year old to tell me what noises different animals in the book make... and we went from there... "What does a kitty cat sound like?" "I can make a sound like an ELEPHANT!" and so on-- right up until the moment when I said...

"I can sound like a COW!" Taken in an adult context, this is a really hilarious statement. And at that moment, that is how I heard myself-- as an adult, claiming to sound like a cow. Calling an woman a 'cow' is a real insult-- and talking like one isn't much better... but ADMITTING IT ABOUT YOURSELF-- now that's one I hadn't heard before! Of course, I was having a serious conversation with a 2 year old... so no laughing was allowed. Boy, was that tough! I think I almost swallowed my tongue.

And the brain-bending? Well, I operate in what I term "nanny-mode" when with small children. I automatically filter out of my consciousness and my vocabulary all inappropriate material-- no swear words, no sexual innuendo that would make your friends laugh, no slang (okay, not much slang), none of that, and a soft loving maternal voice on top! It's just not appropriate to be around children any other way... unless you have to use your "mommy voice." (If you own a pet, or have raised a child, you know what that voice is. It's the "don't argue with ME, young lady!! Your behavior is WRONG, and it is going to stop-- RIGHT NOW!" voice. Smart people--and pets-- heed the Mommy Voice.) It takes me a little while to get out of "nanny-mode," once I've been in it for a few hours... I can't just snap my fingers when I get off work, and be back to talking like a normal adult to other adults... I tend to use words like "dear" and "oopsy" and "I need to use the potty" and "all-better" if I try to hold a conversation with anyone right away. It gets me some really strange looks. A bit like that look you get when you sing along to the elevator music, and the door opens before you stop singing... (C'mon- admit it!)

Today, when I got into my car to drive home from work, the radio came on with the engine. The song was one I'm not a particular fan of, but that I've never been able to NOT sing along with when I heard it... and the chorus is something like... "yo-diggity, I wanna bag it up!" My brain just couldn't take singing along with that song (all about sex and slang and booty and all) while still being at least partly still in nanny-mode. Trying to have those two very different personas share space in my one little brain was just... painfully twisted. I spent a few minutes after that just sitting in the car, blinking, and trying to figure out what was right, what was wrong, and who the hell cared, anyway! Thank goodness I wasn't already driving when it happened. I'm not sure I'd have been able to pay attention the road for a minute or two there.

So, yeah, my day was probably not one you'd label "exciting!".... but it kept me amused.

New Beginnings

I don't do New Years Resolutions-- I do Life Altering Personal Commitments to Change. (aka LAPC2)

'Tis the season, and all that. If you were wondering about the alarm clock purchase and other of my personal resolves, Read On! If you wanted to know more about my friend's weird New Years traditions (or live in the South, and want to be sure she got them right)-- here is the link.

I have started a new job to compliment the new year. Or rather, I have returned to a job I once held, but in a new form and at a new place, and with a new appreciation. I'm a nanny-- possibly even an au pair! (Totally different designation, and parents appreciate you more because you are "educated" and/or "from overseas.") On the days I nanny, I have to get up at about 5am. It's a bit painful, as I haven't gotten used to my new schedule yet. I do, however, have a new alarm clock. The old alarm had two options- radio alarm (easy to sleep through, as I used to take naps to rock music in college), or sudden heart attack at 50 decibels. Ouch! On the good side of the scale, when I finally arrive at work, I get to cuddle a really cute baby, whose nick-name is "Pork Chop," and read happy books all day to a little boy who calls me "Spicy." (No relation to the pop band, thank you god.) I tell you, life is GOOD!

Apparently, they don't make the previously coveted light-brightening alarm clocks for the common masses anymore, though I SWEAR I saw one in the last "in-flight-magazine" I read. Of course... the items available for purchase in those ridiculous magazines are not really for the people who can't afford to fly first class, anyway. (sigh)
Much preferable, and harder for my psyche to ignore at 5am, my new alarm sounds like church bells. Or, alternately, my grandmother's creepy hall clock. Both impart a certain level of moral responsibility to be at work on time. There's nothing like a swift kick in the conscience to get you out of bed! AND, as a bonus, I can go to sleep to the sound of crickets, wind chimes, or seagulls. The wind chimes are a bit too close to church bells for me, and the seagulls remind me too much of colic-y baby, so I chose the crickets. ...This is me being positive, just in case you couldn't tell.

As part of this new delightful routine, I'm practicing my Tai Chi in the mornings, followed by school work when I'm too awake to avoid it: After I work out the pre-dawn unfocused stares, and before the after-lunch yawns hit. I have a new bedtime, too-- and a new budget to keep me out of trouble between times. Yeah. Just when I thought that between office work and school work, they'd bury me with my fingers welded to the keyboard-- here comes a change of pace!

Call me a dork-- I'm actually looking forward to the possibility of getting my school work done ahead of time. I repeat-- Ahead of Time! That last-minute unedited rush worked for me in high school and even in my undergrad program... (though I'm not sure I'd even get accepted at my old school now-- their new enrollment standards give me nosebleed) but I just can't seem to get the same good grades from turning in half-arsed assignments in Grad School. And the work is HARDER this time around! Of course, this time I'm actually maintaining a home (not shoveling out a dorm room), fixing my own food (not making trips to the cafeteria), and earning my own wages (not subsisting on a combination of parental handouts and school-supplemented work-study scholarships) --in my free time between classes.

I've noticed it costs more to keep me these days, too. I guess I could lose the car and gain some house-mates... but I can't even begin to tell you how GOOD it feels to state the decisions that are best for me, and know that's the end of the conversation. (Unless I'm on the phone with my parents, of course. Then, even if they gasp!* agree with my decision, it'll be hours before they actually communicate that approval.)

*Not responsible for offended sensibilities, bad word choices, or childish situations. For a more adult assessment of my parents than I've given thus far, and their quest to help me make a good life for myself whether I want it or not, see future blog entries. Unrated, 28 years and counting.

I was one, once.

Well, I had planned to tell you about my belief that my life is being recorded for a sitcom. I don't know who's writing the script, but they have one hell of a weird sense of humor-- and some horribly comedic timing. I have some friends who I know have major roles in the sitcom of my life-- and they would tell you the same thing. ...but I'm not going to talk about that today.

In my life, I've been a babysitter, a nanny, an Au Pair, a front desker who also kept track of kids in the office, ... And each of these roles has been very different. Starting with the pay. And the amount of time the parents spend telling you what "normal" is in their household before they leave. Its very confusing if you've never been a part of the program before. I just checked a website for helping folks get what they want, and half the people who want child care ask for nannies, and then want to pay for a babysitter. The other half ask what 'normal' is in nanny-land. I swear, nobody knows, and if they do, they aren't telling! So let me be one of the first. Just realize-- I only know what's normal for me.

When I lived in New York, in 2002, a live-in full-time nanny in a small town with one very high-maintenance child and two very large dogs with long tongues (this was before the pitbull, too) was paid around $500 a month, before taxes. If you actually were lucky enough to find a well-off family in New York City who wanted a nanny, you could get your own mother-in-law apartment, a car to drive, and a good living wage... but that was never me. That was the dream that the Nanny-Placement-Services dangled in front of your nose to get you to sign on with them. Before that, as a babysitter, $5/hour for two kids was considered good pay. You would consider yourself rich if you spent all evening with two kids, and walked home with a $20 bill in your pocket. Since then, I've made up to $10/hour as a part-time nanny, for up to two children. I made $14 an hour as an assistant in a business, with less important responsibilities.

I've had a lot of people be shocked at paying $10/hour for child care. Some of these same people actually pay $15 to $25 for a 20-minute visit to let their pets go pee in the yard every day. And when people consider letting you into their home to care for their pets, they DEFINITELY call your references. Want to know the odds of having a parent actually do a background check on you before leaving you alone in their home with their kid? I don't.

Anyway, Its a strange thing to be back in the world of child care, daycare, nanny and Au Pair. I love the children-- they are such a great excuse to get out the old finger paints, or buy the new water-washable color markers, and really go wild scribbling colorful nothings onto a big piece of recycled paper. Making up fun activities that require autumn leaves, lots of string, and laughter... I could live like that. The hard part is the parents. How do you tell a parent, who pays you good money to do what they do when they can't do it, that their child is never going to remember (at the age of 3) what they did wrong, after not knowing it was wrong, and doing it, and then having to stand in the corner for 20 minutes to think about it. At three-- they probably don't even know all the words to "I Like To Eat Apples And Bananas!" And how do you explain that they are crying because they are ANGRY at the age of five, when you embarrassed them by wiping their nose in front of their favorite teacher, and then telling them to "Blow!"... and telling them to stop crying really won't solve anything. It just embarrasses them worse. And at the age of 11... if you know after an hour in their company that the child is smoking pot, and the parents don't know... what you have to say probably won't make the parents believe you. If they can't see it, chances are they DON'T WANT TO. Like I said-- parents can be difficult.

Personally, I ask the parents for THEIR references before I agree to a long-term contract. And I call. There isn't a test you have to pass to be a parent. But nannies? Real nannies who read child-development books, and use baby sign-language to help toddlers communicate, and CARE that too much TV is bad for the brain... Those are hard to come by. And when you do? Usually they are too busy being moms. And since they know their own worth... you might find yourself paying a little more than $10 an hour. I was one, once.