Coincidentally

I've been reading this book called Your Money or Your Life, by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin. A good friend gave it to me about five or six years ago, and I'm finally mature enough to read it. (Hi, L!) The book talks about how a budget is a lot like a diet. You deprive yourself and skimp, and it works- for a month or maybe two. Then you feel you've been so good-- you can relax. And you go right back to your old spending habits. So you start a new budget. Hmmm.... Sounds familiar....

The book was written in the 1980's, from what I can tell, or at least-- a lot of their examples come from that time. So in some ways, I'm trying to maintain a current perspective while taking in the intended lesson of some of the financial examples cited in the book. Like the time that Cindy Soandso realized she was buying a pair of shoes a week and not wearing them. And on her budget, you can see she was also paying $200 in rent per month. Yeah, right. Or how this nice military man and his wife wanted a big family and a home in the country-- and on a budget of less than $30,000 a year, they saved up $45,000 in seven years, while having four children and paying off $25,000 in debts. So I figure now, that would mean an income of around $45,000 a year, and only two children. I mean, really. If I try to believe that $30,000 can support a family of six plus a 20% savings plan for a YEAR in 2007-- I will probably stop reading this book.

The book isn't about setting yet another budget. It's actually about calculating how much time/energy you spend on your current life style, and being accountable to your dreams/goals/values for the way that energy/time is spent. It's about changing your relationship with money and with the time you spend earning it. Dominguez and Robin say that all you need is enough-- and just a little bit extra. The hard part is that our culture teaches us to have endless appetites for buying. The phrase "more is better" simply means that you'll never have enough to be happy. Once you attain it, you want something else-- something more. Because more is better.

Instead, pay attention, and notice what is enough. What is important to you in your life? Do you need another foodiddler to reach that goal or have that experience you really care about? Probably not. One of my favorite tools in the book so far is the Purpose-in-Life Test. Originally formulated by Viktor Frankl, a Nazi death camp survivor, this test helps you determine if you have a strong sense of life-purpose or meaning, and if you have found ways to live your life according to that awareness.

One of my favorite questions on the test was this: "Facing my daily tasks is: a source of pleasure and satisfaction/ neutral/ a painful and boring experience." It really made me stop and ask myself why I spend so much time not enjoying my life. Frankl's book is called, Man's Search for Meaning, just in case you want to check it out. I haven't yet. I'm too busy planning world domination on $50 a week. And besides, I (just barely) have a clear sense of purpose, according to the test results. I'll take that and run with it!

I stopped about half-way through the book to go get my weekly groceries. Step One: record all expenditures to the penny for a month. I filled my water jugs. ($1.40) I got gas. ($34.79) I stopped at a local used book store for a book my mom wants, and found a great little expenditure recording notebook. ($12.37) Coincidence #1: the book she wants is on sale this week. I realized I was supposed to meet my cousin at 3pm to pick up her Christmas Gift to me (time-sensitive), so I rushed over there.

So far, I was very cheerful, optimistic, not too hungry to food shop, totally pleased to get out of the multi-everything store with JUST WATER, and working hard to remember and record everything I spent. Then I drove through downtown in nearly rush hour traffic-- on a SATURDAY, and got pretty grumpy. I also got hungry and thirsty. Bad combo. Cousin's phone was busy so I knew she'd be in. She wasn't in. I tried to find a corner of downtown to hang out in for five minutes in hopes that she'd be back, but everywhere I went, SOMEONE WAS BEHIND ME trying to drive forward. I headed back to Trader Joe's. In nearly rush hour traffic. My cousin called about 20 minutes later. She's home now, where am I? Coincidence #2: She ran to the bank for 10 minutes, and we JUST MISSED EACH OTHER!!!

I hang up and turn into the parking lot of TJ's. Everyone is at TJ's today. Everyone. And they brought their friends along too. In separate cars. Even my brother was there. Seriously. We drove past each other in search of parking. (Coincidence #3.) I haven't seen my brother in a couple of months. So we shopped together (enlightening to say the least-- $19.77 for my groceries this week! Helps that Thanksgiving is at someone else's place.) and then headed out to a late lunch together. Coincidence #4: We actually both had time to catch up right then, and we'd both missed lunch! That was pretty darn cool.

So today I started the process toward financial intelligence. To the tune of $68.33. That's probably about a hundred dollars less than I spent last Saturday. Coincidentally, today was also the day I received my ex's lump-sum payment (less than $5,000) and legal paperwork ending our alimony arrangement about six months early. Talk about financial freedom! It's not that I can afford to do anything with this money but continue hoarding it for car payments over the next six months... it's that I don't have to hope he sends the money, or wait for it to arrive, or wonder if he'll stop paying in May or June, or... Nope. My life, and the time I spend in it, is mine to delineate. And I just regained control of my budget, too.

Coincidence? I think NOT!

BTW$

By the way... in case you were wondering...
Higher One knew I'd be checking my phone for messages at 2pm last Friday.
They knew I was expecting a confirmation of wire transfer to my existing bank account, by 2pm, PST. I wanted my money back. Again.

Do Not Mess With The Angry StudentNannyLibrarianLady.
I'm determined, educated, and I have more experience using my voice to Get Things Done than you even want to imagine.
...kthxbai.

I received a phone call from Higher One at 1:47pm. Wire transfer confirmed.
I checked with my bank on Sunday. (I love online banking.)
Wire transfer received.

...I think my blood pressure went down about fifty points....
I love my Mommy Voice!

Add to list...

• makes me laugh
• usefully intelligent
• socially capable
• makes me laugh
• can handle occasional silence
• has better taste in food than I do
• knows what he wants to be when he grows up
• has a job he enjoys
• knows how to take time off from work
• makes me laugh
• intelligent conversations
• can talk about emotions/relationships without flinching
• gives good back rubs
• shows an active interest in me (not just my body, either, but clearly likes that, too)
• likes my cat
• fairly healthy, mentally
• fairly healthy, physically
• has interests other than work
• pursues them
• doesn't share my interest in Things (I swear, I'm working on that one.)
  
• cares about his appearance (within reason)
• doesn't need to live in the middle of a five-acre forest to relax
• self-aware (not selfish, or at least, only sometimes)
  
• self-assured (not arrogant)
  
• can laugh at self (not too insecure, please)
  
• can laugh at me (occasionally)
  
• likes my stories
• laughs about the custom cup-holder in my TV
• does not need to be taken care of
• can handle being cared for sometimes anyway
  
• wants a partner/friend, not a mommy/trophy
• okay with corny movies
• okay with only watching the good parts
• been there, done that, has the T-shirt
• wants to do it my way sometimes
• makes his own plans, and invites me along, sometimes

(FYI, I actually did meet a guy like this once. I just don't think he ever asked me out on a date...)

mmmmm

I had a yummy visit from an old friend. I think it's been about two years since we were in the same state at the same times (oh, except the states of sleeplessness and denial. We visit those frequently.), so this was just awesome. Especially after I FINALLY found the right Starbucks in downtown to pick him (and his large suitcase full of wine) up at. Could there BE anymore road construction in downtown??!!1

Dessert first. St. Cupcake, anyone? With WAAAAAY too much frosting on top? Lunch at Lonely Planet (organic foods that somebody else cooked for reasonable prices, people!!!), with lots of napkins because apparently I have issues...

And then coffee was mentioned, and whadayaknow, there around the next corner was an AWESOME coffee place... well... I'll take his word for it, because coffee is not my friend. And on to the coolest delicatessen, where I finally found black french lentils. I've been looking for a while, you know. Apparently at TJ's, they're seasonal. WTF??

Then, a good gab and some old comic books at my place, and off to dinner. THAI! GOOD THAI! Level 4 spice Thai, and I LIKED it. Believe it or not, level 4 Thai food is less spicy to my mouth than black pepper. And MUCH more tasty. He got the seafood special, and dagmn was it good! Have I mentioned that I like Thai food?

Then back to my place for a movie and an early bedtime. I had work today, and well, he had to catch a plane. I hope it's not another two years between now and the next visit. That is just too darn long. But hey-- at least I know my futon works now! And, I've learned that glass is a liquid. Honestly. A highly intelligent person told me so. I guess I'm glad.

It means that the new "rock chip" in my windshield will just smooth back over, right? I mean... it's only the size of a salad plate. And... in a just world... the idiot who threw something off the overpass and onto my windshield this morning will eventually get that same karma back...
times three.

Certifiable

Ummm.... so... About two weeks ago, I took my water bottle out of the car and brought it in to wash. See, the lid is just one of those pop-up squirt kinds (reusable), and I was reasonably sure the dog had licked it. I'd had to leave him in the car alone for a while, and he ended up in the front seat, nosing through everything.

It's taken me until today to actually get around to cleaning it, however. And as I was waiting for the water to get hot, I realized... I don't have a dog. But, hey, the water was hot now, and the lid probably needed a good washing anyway, so I've washed it. And had a good laugh at how I probably confused one of my realistic dreams with reality again... sigh...

My next inclination was to call my friend, SLM, and share my insanity with someone who would laugh as hard as I did. But then I thought-- hey-- why not share it with EVERYONE?! And I'm rather glad I did it this way...

Because I remembered, as I was typing, that I'd taken the water bottle on a hiking trip with a friend, and her two dogs. And I left the water bottle in the front seat when we ate lunch after our hike, and the dogs did indeed jump into the front seat and nose through everything. Including the lid to my water bottle. It just didn't happen in my car.

I'm telling you, I need therapy.
...preferably massage...

SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Well, it turns out that even after you FINALLY RECEIVE your reissued student loan check, and deposit it into your bank account even though they put the wrong last name on it, and the bank says there are no holds on the check and the money is now available... even then, the lender can make another mistake that means you STILL DON'T HAVE YOUR STUDENT LOAN MONEY FROM JULY!!!!

In this case, they refused to fund the check. So the bank readjusted my balance, and mailed the check back to me. The student loan folks tell me that the Federal Reserve accidentally sent out duplicates of some student loan checks, and although I haven't received the duplicate, my bank hasn't had a duplicate deposit, and the loan company knows all this-- they still refused to fund the check because this was a "duplicate presentment." (Although, I'm sure the govgernment are having no trouble charging me INTEREST on the money I don't have. To help me with basic living expenses while I'm in school. Have I mentioned that I graduate in six weeks?)

Let me tell you, Higher One received the business end of my Mommy Voice yesterday. They have a deadline. And a bank account number. And they will be calling me THIS MORNING with an update that SHOULD include confirmation of a wire transfer.
...third time a charm?