There was a spider in my pickle jar this morning. I swear, it's true.
Not only that, but two different financial institutions have informed me today that it is not financially possible for the guy who screwed up my student loans yesterday to do what he claims he did. And even though the mail room doesn't open until 10am in the mornings, it was open at 9:15am this morning when I went one last time to look for my lost student loan check.
No check. No junk mail, either.
How bizarre, how bizarre.
Thursday, September 27
Wednesday, September 26
Qwack-Qwack
Okay. If you haven't gone out and read Kiss My Tiara by Susan Jane Gilman, DO IT NOW. But only if you are fairly certain you are a woman.
Because then you will understand when I refer to such-and-such as just another Qwack-Qwack notion. Like fake leather thong bikinis. Or tattoo'd on makeup. Or diet twinkies. Or nylon pantyhos. I mean, really. Who invented this sort of rediculous torture, anyhow?!
And honestly, who wouldn't love to have a grandmother who says things like, "Take a few lovers, travel the world, and don't take any crap." (page xiii-- reading the forward is vital to understanidng what comes next. See?) So, like I said, go borrow a book from the local library. And make sure the title is Kiss My Tiara. Or, if you can't find that, I have it on good authority that you could easily settle for Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress instead.
Because then you will understand when I refer to such-and-such as just another Qwack-Qwack notion. Like fake leather thong bikinis. Or tattoo'd on makeup. Or diet twinkies. Or nylon pantyhos. I mean, really. Who invented this sort of rediculous torture, anyhow?!
And honestly, who wouldn't love to have a grandmother who says things like, "Take a few lovers, travel the world, and don't take any crap." (page xiii-- reading the forward is vital to understanidng what comes next. See?) So, like I said, go borrow a book from the local library. And make sure the title is Kiss My Tiara. Or, if you can't find that, I have it on good authority that you could easily settle for Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress instead.
Moonrise over the DoubleDribble
It's been an exciting 24 hours.
I haven't spotted the hidden cameras yet, but I know they're out there filming away, with glee in their hearts and laughter on their lips. I guess it's a good thing they aren't paying me. I don't think they could pay me enough to have these experiences on purpose.
The little boy I nanny (age 2.5) has discovered what stoplights are for, and that different kinds of vehicles have "names." So he is, at the age of 2.5, becoming an accomplished back seat driver. He also pretends to be a loud, fast, red "Thord" Truck (and boy is he LOUD and FAST when he plays truck!!!). He also has noted that the front end of my car is "broken," and really feels that I should get it fixed. I know because he now brings it up on a regular basis. Like every five minutes. I agree with him. And as soon as I have an extra $1,100 lying around, I will go right out and do that, if only to change the subject.
Driving home last night (after a longer than usual work day-- usual being 10 hours, plus driving), I tried to open a new bottle of water by squeezing it between my legs so I could drive with one hand and twist the lid with the other. This resulted in a geyser-like fountain of cold water soaking my pants and car seat-- RIGHT THERE-- and feeling really odd all the way home. Except first I had to walk into the library and pick up a bunch of books on hold. And greet my coworkers. All while pretending that it didn't really look like I just peed my pants.
It felt like a wet bathing suit about an hour after you get out of the pool, only the rest of me was fully clothed and perfectly dry. And let me tell you, undies take a fugging long time to dry, and hours-old wet bathing suits are COLD!!!
Of course, this was also the night that I had to drive straight to the unnamed library from work so that I could pick up the books I was supposed to have read for the Inservice I attended all day today. I got there 15 minutes before the library closed, and both books I needed were in. Of course, I got home around 8:30pm, and was just so hungry and exhausted that I only read one of the books. Unfortunately, it was not the one they actually remembered to ask me to give a presentation on at the Inservice today. Yeah-- THAT was the book I DIDN'T read.
Luckily, on my way past the exit I would normally take to go HOME from work, sitting in my soggy and rather hysterical state of exhaustion, with Kid Rock playing thumpily about cowboys in the background, I noticed the moon. A full moon. A harvest moon. Rising over the edge of a distant hill, right next to the snowy top of some awesome mountain or other. They were actually about the same size. Immense and breath-taking. And the whole view was framed between two much closer foothills. I knew I had my camera in the car. I just couldn't find it.
...Until about 20 minutes later when I was at a stoplight about 10 minutes away from the unnamed library. That's when I found the camera, and finally managed to take a picture of this gorgeous glowing full moon...
And this morning, as I spoke with the financial aid office about why I STILL don't have my student loan money, but have received ten letters about how they plan to give it to me in the near future, I downloaded the photo onto my computer. There she was. The most beautiful full moon I've seen in quite a while. Rising majestically into the clear sky over the Double Dribble bar. Sigh...
That's when Student Aid finally informed me that they'd sent my student loan checks out two weeks ago-- to my old address that I haven't lived at for over a year. And to compound it all, I got home from a full day of training today (on how to be an effective Youth Librarian), only to find an email from Student Aid informing me that ALL of my student loan checks have now been canceled and reissued. Even the ones I received a year ago and deposited and used up.
....man.... I wish I kept hard alcohol in the house! And unbidden came the thought...
"I'll bet the Double Dribble has some."
I haven't spotted the hidden cameras yet, but I know they're out there filming away, with glee in their hearts and laughter on their lips. I guess it's a good thing they aren't paying me. I don't think they could pay me enough to have these experiences on purpose.
The little boy I nanny (age 2.5) has discovered what stoplights are for, and that different kinds of vehicles have "names." So he is, at the age of 2.5, becoming an accomplished back seat driver. He also pretends to be a loud, fast, red "Thord" Truck (and boy is he LOUD and FAST when he plays truck!!!). He also has noted that the front end of my car is "broken," and really feels that I should get it fixed. I know because he now brings it up on a regular basis. Like every five minutes. I agree with him. And as soon as I have an extra $1,100 lying around, I will go right out and do that, if only to change the subject.
Driving home last night (after a longer than usual work day-- usual being 10 hours, plus driving), I tried to open a new bottle of water by squeezing it between my legs so I could drive with one hand and twist the lid with the other. This resulted in a geyser-like fountain of cold water soaking my pants and car seat-- RIGHT THERE-- and feeling really odd all the way home. Except first I had to walk into the library and pick up a bunch of books on hold. And greet my coworkers. All while pretending that it didn't really look like I just peed my pants.
It felt like a wet bathing suit about an hour after you get out of the pool, only the rest of me was fully clothed and perfectly dry. And let me tell you, undies take a fugging long time to dry, and hours-old wet bathing suits are COLD!!!
Of course, this was also the night that I had to drive straight to the unnamed library from work so that I could pick up the books I was supposed to have read for the Inservice I attended all day today. I got there 15 minutes before the library closed, and both books I needed were in. Of course, I got home around 8:30pm, and was just so hungry and exhausted that I only read one of the books. Unfortunately, it was not the one they actually remembered to ask me to give a presentation on at the Inservice today. Yeah-- THAT was the book I DIDN'T read.
Luckily, on my way past the exit I would normally take to go HOME from work, sitting in my soggy and rather hysterical state of exhaustion, with Kid Rock playing thumpily about cowboys in the background, I noticed the moon. A full moon. A harvest moon. Rising over the edge of a distant hill, right next to the snowy top of some awesome mountain or other. They were actually about the same size. Immense and breath-taking. And the whole view was framed between two much closer foothills. I knew I had my camera in the car. I just couldn't find it.
...Until about 20 minutes later when I was at a stoplight about 10 minutes away from the unnamed library. That's when I found the camera, and finally managed to take a picture of this gorgeous glowing full moon...
And this morning, as I spoke with the financial aid office about why I STILL don't have my student loan money, but have received ten letters about how they plan to give it to me in the near future, I downloaded the photo onto my computer. There she was. The most beautiful full moon I've seen in quite a while. Rising majestically into the clear sky over the Double Dribble bar. Sigh...
That's when Student Aid finally informed me that they'd sent my student loan checks out two weeks ago-- to my old address that I haven't lived at for over a year. And to compound it all, I got home from a full day of training today (on how to be an effective Youth Librarian), only to find an email from Student Aid informing me that ALL of my student loan checks have now been canceled and reissued. Even the ones I received a year ago and deposited and used up.
....man.... I wish I kept hard alcohol in the house! And unbidden came the thought...
"I'll bet the Double Dribble has some."
Sunday, September 16
Vote me in!
I joined the I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER madness today.
You know that photo of my cat hunting dustballs under the rug? I use it a lot. And hey-- I've shared with my friends, my blogging family, and a few others-- but why stop there? I COULD be sharing it with the WORLD!!!
www.thecheezburgerfactory.com//ThereIsNoDead.jpg
Because, you know, why do homework when you can do this?!
By the way, these are not mine. I borrowed them from the site.
Because I love them. And I am just a little bit insane. =)
YAY!
So I did my first official library event today-- my first all by myself not at the library event, that is. And I think it was a success. I feel good. And thank goodness a couple of volunteers showed up to help! I hope I didn't take over too much, because I was SO glad to have more than just me at that table. Especially with all the little kids using glue at the same time!
We made puppets. We colored in big bubble letters. We stuck stickers everywhere. And we handed out info on age-appropriate books and the Unknown Public Library. We also got to pet a turtle and a hedgehog, watch the hula dancers, and stay dry in the rain while the orchestra performed. Free face painting, too. What could be better on a Sunday afternoon?!
Oh, and I even got to read one of the storytime stories I'd brought-- to an audience of one freaked out little kindergartener, and his grateful teenage cousin. It was a definite success.
Now I just have to muster enough energy to do my homework. Riiiight.
We made puppets. We colored in big bubble letters. We stuck stickers everywhere. And we handed out info on age-appropriate books and the Unknown Public Library. We also got to pet a turtle and a hedgehog, watch the hula dancers, and stay dry in the rain while the orchestra performed. Free face painting, too. What could be better on a Sunday afternoon?!
Oh, and I even got to read one of the storytime stories I'd brought-- to an audience of one freaked out little kindergartener, and his grateful teenage cousin. It was a definite success.
Now I just have to muster enough energy to do my homework. Riiiight.
By Any Other Name...
So every Wednesday, and often also on Saturdays or Sundays, I drive the 20-40 minutes out to the Unnamed Public Library. Often, I'm there for my internship. Sometimes, I'm there to check out books.
The thing is that on my way there, I pass a bar. Well, I pass a lot of bars-- I have a pretty seedy red-neck area to drive through. But this bar stands out. Someone with imagination, humor, and a really dirty mind owns it. This bar is called the Double Dribble. And they specialize in Hot Girls and Cold Drinks.
I still haven't figured out whether I think it's funny or sick. I do know that I have no trouble remembering the name of this particular bar. And that I must also have a strange sense of humor to get the double entendre so easily... I also know I won't be going there. Not my scene. Just thought you should know.
The thing is that on my way there, I pass a bar. Well, I pass a lot of bars-- I have a pretty seedy red-neck area to drive through. But this bar stands out. Someone with imagination, humor, and a really dirty mind owns it. This bar is called the Double Dribble. And they specialize in Hot Girls and Cold Drinks.
I still haven't figured out whether I think it's funny or sick. I do know that I have no trouble remembering the name of this particular bar. And that I must also have a strange sense of humor to get the double entendre so easily... I also know I won't be going there. Not my scene. Just thought you should know.
Sunday, September 9
My Personality DNA
My Personality DNA is:
My personalDNA Report
I'm a Benevolent Architect. Yes I am.
The ratings below indicate How Much More I am of something than others are. In otherwords, if I get an 84%, it means that I placed my confidence level higher than that of 84% of other test takers. I think that will help me remember how different I am.
My personalDNA Report
I'm a Benevolent Architect. Yes I am.
The ratings below indicate How Much More I am of something than others are. In otherwords, if I get an 84%, it means that I placed my confidence level higher than that of 84% of other test takers. I think that will help me remember how different I am.
| Confidence |   Low High | 84 |
| Openness | Low High | 8 |
| Extroversion | Low High | 62 |
| Empathy | Low High | 90 |
| Trust in others | Low High | 70 |
| Agency | Low High | 70 |
| Masculinity | Low High | 28 |
| Femininity | Low High | 88 |
| Spontaneity | Low High | 26 |
| Attention to style | Low High | 44 |
| Authoritarianism | Low High | 28 |
| Earthy/Imaginative | Imaginative Earthy | 70 |
| Aesthetic/Functional | Functional Aesthetic | 48 |
XHTML OMG
Did I mention that school has started again? It has.
I'm taking a Web Design class for librarians with little or no knowledge of web design.
In week one, we read about the history of code languages, up through XML rules and the subsequent creation of XHTML 1.0. In brief. And I managed to miss the section where she described the assignment for the week. Now, it's week two. And I'm already behind because of last week's mistake. Great.
This week? The assignment is to create our first page on our website and turn in the code string, and the url, so the prof can see what it's supposed to look like (on the url), and how we made it look that way. Oh, and a list of elements/information we want on the page.
I am so fugcked.
I'm taking a Web Design class for librarians with little or no knowledge of web design.
In week one, we read about the history of code languages, up through XML rules and the subsequent creation of XHTML 1.0. In brief. And I managed to miss the section where she described the assignment for the week. Now, it's week two. And I'm already behind because of last week's mistake. Great.
This week? The assignment is to create our first page on our website and turn in the code string, and the url, so the prof can see what it's supposed to look like (on the url), and how we made it look that way. Oh, and a list of elements/information we want on the page.
I am so fugcked.
Monday, September 3
Not So Mature
Anybody have a cure for favorite jeans growing too tight? Besides buying new ones or getting on some weird diet? Anybody?
... sigh ...
Well... I think I'm due for a trip to Ross, Deja Vu, and the gym.
See, I had two pairs of "I love you" jeans, and two pairs of "fits well and looks fine." I've had them for a good three or four years-- and they were used when I got them. Now, I have three pairs of "I tried to buy new ones that fit but they shrank in the wash," and one pair of "oh, these are perfect!" And all my old favorites that I finally admitted you can SEE they are getting too small, and in one case indecently full of holes, too. I finally decided that I'd rather look good now than walk around remembering how good I used to look in these jeans, and pulling down the pant legs all the time because they got stuck.
And as my pants shrink, my desire to start that healthy go-to-the-gym-three-times-a-week regiment is sounding better and better. I know I should. It's just hard to find a regular time, or well... anytime that I'd rather be working out than doing what I already have planned.
And no-- I don't think I'm fat or overweight or anything. I do think I'm out of shape, and changing shape, and FOR MY SIZE it would be good not to gain any more of a muffin-top than I already have in the past six months. And I learned a long time ago that there is a huge difference between being skinny, and being healthy. I want to move down to the HEALTHY end of things. I also want to find some jeans that fit well, don't get too small when I wash them, don't gape so big at the rear when I bend over that you could hide your lunch in the waist band, and that don't stretch so much over the course of a day that I can take them off without unzipping at bedtime. I'd also like them to not get stuck on my legs when I crouch down and be easy to button/zip closed. Honestly, I've been looking. For a couple of months now. Good jeans are hard to find.
I've concluded that they may in fact be HARDER to find than a good man. But just to be safe, I'm still testing that theory. I also suspect that my increased pant-size is due in large part to the fact that I no longer live in fear, and no longer work in a fearfully nasty office. I don't worry off the weight anymore, if you know what I mean. Or maybe it's because I'm nearing thirty, and bodies change... Humph.
... sigh ...
Well... I think I'm due for a trip to Ross, Deja Vu, and the gym.
See, I had two pairs of "I love you" jeans, and two pairs of "fits well and looks fine." I've had them for a good three or four years-- and they were used when I got them. Now, I have three pairs of "I tried to buy new ones that fit but they shrank in the wash," and one pair of "oh, these are perfect!" And all my old favorites that I finally admitted you can SEE they are getting too small, and in one case indecently full of holes, too. I finally decided that I'd rather look good now than walk around remembering how good I used to look in these jeans, and pulling down the pant legs all the time because they got stuck.
And as my pants shrink, my desire to start that healthy go-to-the-gym-three-times-a-week regiment is sounding better and better. I know I should. It's just hard to find a regular time, or well... anytime that I'd rather be working out than doing what I already have planned.
And no-- I don't think I'm fat or overweight or anything. I do think I'm out of shape, and changing shape, and FOR MY SIZE it would be good not to gain any more of a muffin-top than I already have in the past six months. And I learned a long time ago that there is a huge difference between being skinny, and being healthy. I want to move down to the HEALTHY end of things. I also want to find some jeans that fit well, don't get too small when I wash them, don't gape so big at the rear when I bend over that you could hide your lunch in the waist band, and that don't stretch so much over the course of a day that I can take them off without unzipping at bedtime. I'd also like them to not get stuck on my legs when I crouch down and be easy to button/zip closed. Honestly, I've been looking. For a couple of months now. Good jeans are hard to find.
I've concluded that they may in fact be HARDER to find than a good man. But just to be safe, I'm still testing that theory. I also suspect that my increased pant-size is due in large part to the fact that I no longer live in fear, and no longer work in a fearfully nasty office. I don't worry off the weight anymore, if you know what I mean. Or maybe it's because I'm nearing thirty, and bodies change... Humph.
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