Bookrock

Yes. I've officially gone over the edge. I received what I think is probably the BEST valentine I've ever gotten from a man this year. And he is 2 years old. The world needs help.

But this blog is not about children. Or valentines.
Okay, well, it is actually inspired by both of these, but that's not the same thing at all.
It is about me going over the edge, the world needing help, and some really really good books. Eclectic and weird are the official words of the day. Sample quotes and bibliographic information to follow:

"Why isn't love easy? I don't know. And the raccoons don't say." Fulghum, Robert. All I Really Need to Know I Learned In Kindergarten. Second Edition.

"Another really luscious rollneck. Versatile collar, versatile sweater (you can turn it around and make him gasp at the 14 buttons down your back). Ribbed, sag-proof cuffs. Knitting quality much better than your favorite aunt's, without trickery or glitz. You might wear it every day. Color: They call it "Brick" but it's not. I counted at least six different shades of red and deep orange in the wool. Glorious. Rollneck Sweater. Price $220. Made in Ireland." The J. Peterman Company. Owner's Manual No 38a; Fall 1995.

"Watch that bee!" Stanley advised. "What bee?" asked Rhoda. "Near your right foot," said Stanley. "He got me!" Rhoda screamed. "It hurts!" Rhoda screamed. "It's just a bee bite. Let me see it," said Stanley. "Don't touch it! Don't look at it!" said Rhoda. "When we get home, Daddy will fix it," said Stanley. "What will Daddy do?" asked Rhoda. "Take the bee sting out of your foot with a needle," said Stanley. "Then again he might soak your foot in boiling butter." "It's better now, Stanley," said Rhoda. "I'm glad," said Stanley. Wells, Rosemary. Stanley & Rhoda.

"Soon more trick-or-treaters began to stop by.
They'd seen the lit pumpkin and smelled the warm pie.
'They're my pals,' the witch whispered in John's little ear.
'They're loud and they're messy, but nothing to fear.' 'Trick or treat!!!' howled the callers. 'Bring on the fun!' John offered them seeds, since the pies were not done. ...
While the witch and a wizard slow-waltzed through the air,
A slimy green creature slipped right off its chair
And oozed in between dirty disco-ing brutes
Who had spiders with webs on their crusty white suits.
As this ghostly group danced and downed down his food,
A beaming John Pig was caught up in the mood."
Waldron, Jan L. John Pig's Halloween.

"But what if nobody likes the way I dance?
You go dancing in the woods, alone in the crackling leaves.
One day you meet someone else dancing in the woods.
You dance together. You throw leaves on each other.
You lie down in the leaves."
Dragonwagon, Crascent. Will It Be Okay?

I'm not quoting from this one, but I wish I'd had it earlier in my marriage. A practical guide for the impractical reality. Lets just say the author definitely has everyone's best interests at heart, and a lot of information from individuals with experience.
Colombo, Luann. How to Have Sex in the Woods.

"If you can't see something, chances are you don't know you have it. Think about this if you have piles of items that you're uncovering for the first time in a long time. How long have you lived without them and gotten along just fine?" Leist, Laura. Eliminate Chaos: The 10-Step Process to Organize Your Home & Life.

"What if the costs of being neat and well organized often outweighed the benefits? What if being somewhat messy, in a broad sense, were a better deal?" Abrahamson, Eric and David H. Freedman. A Perfect Mess.

"You know how to be silly. That's why I like you. Boy are you ever silly. I never met anybody sillier than me 'till I met you." Warburg, Sandol Stoddard. I like you.

"A cow says moo. A sheep says baa. Three singing pigs say LA LA LA!" Boynton, Sandra. Moo, Baa, La La La!

"I realized that in society in general there were very few positive images or role models for women... It occurred to me that a contemporary reclamation of Goddess history could provide positive images of womanhood and at the same time offer rebuttals to later patriarchal religious decrees, especially the one that most annoyed me, that it was 'divine will' for the male to rule over the female." Stone, Merlin. Ancient Mirrors of Womanhood: A treasury of Goddess and Heroine Lore From Around the World.

"Sometimes you can't explain your actions. Sometimes you can't explain yourself. Have a sneeze that's the envy of others. Challenge yourself. Make the world your playground. The faster you run upstairs the more likely you are to forget why you went in the first place. Depend on others without losing your independence." Becker, Suzy. All I Need to Know I Learned From My Cat.

Without seeing the pictures, there is no way a quote from this book will do it justice. Greive,Bradley Trevor. The Blue Day Book.

"She was determined to buy whatever he was selling. ... He was so cute when he was wrong. ...and then I ripped out his lungs. ... She was disinclined to play by the rules." Taintor, Anne. I Can't be Good All The Time.

"Runny doesn't always do
The thoper pring at all.
Just see the motes his namma
Has pasted on his wall."
A Billy Sook by Shel Silverstein. Runny Babbit.

"Chocolate Fix:
1 -11oz package milk chocolate pieces
1 -11 oz package butterscotch-flavored pieces
1 -12 oz jar dry-roasted peanuts
1 -3 oz can cow mien noodles"
Breast Cancer Commemorative Section. Better Homes and Gardens New Cook Book.

"Others chose to use fairy art as an acceptable vehicle for taboo subject matter, such as nudity, drug addiction, eroticism and the supernatural." Zaczek, Iain. Angels & Fairies.

"If we want houses that nurture us, we need to develop a language that describes the qualities of home and not just the quantities. ... It will focus on quality design and construction, using sustainable techniques and materials, and will appeal to buyers who want a home that really nurtures their spirit rather than simply impresses the neighbors with scale." Susanka, Sarah. Creating the Not So Big House.

"Chapter 1, In Which Cimorine Refuses to Be Proper and Has a Conversation with a Frog. Linderwall was a large kingdom, just east of the Mountains of Morning, where philosophers were highly respected and the number five was fashionable. The climate was unremarkable. The knights kept their armor brightly polished mainly for show-- it had been centuries since a dragon had come east. There were the usual periodic problems with royal children and uninvited fairy godmothers, but they were always the sort of thing that could be cleared up by finding the proper prince or princess to marry the unfortunate child a few years later. All in all, Linderwall was a very prosperous and pleasant place. Cimorine hated it." Wrede, Patricia C. Dealing With Dragons.

Add in a healthy dose of M*A*S*H* for the first seven years of my life, and you'll understand a whole lot more about me and my weird sense of humor. Happy Valentine's. Let's all go out and celebrate the death of celibate men everywhere! (Ahem-- have you or have you NOT researched the Christian Beginning of this holiday you are celebrating in such excess??)