Walking Into the World

I took a walk this morning. The air was heavy with moisture (some people might have said there was even a light drizzle going on), and fresh with green growing things. Flowers are blooming, and the bees are still busy about their work. It was a perfect day for a walk, and I felt right, being the one walking. Not many people come out to breathe deeply and enjoy the day when "it looks like rain." All the better for me!

Here we are, only a few weeks from the Summer Solstice, and enjoying some really energetic thunder storms, 60* weather, and lush rain. It's a funny thing, really. Midsummer is traditionally celebrated (all over the world) by lighting a bonfire, and dancing around (and often over) it. It is as though whole communities are celebrating the world's hearth-- the center of life on our planet, just as the kitchen hearth is the center of life in the home. (second only to the computer, these days)

It is a time for community, for slow conversation on front porches and wild laughter around the campfire. A time to celebrate the harvest and bounty that the sun brings forth from the Earth, to take note of the longest day of the year-- when the sun just seems to hang in the sky for hours, and nothing that comes after will be quite as bright. I realize again how much I look forward to having my own hearth-- my own kitchen, my own gathering place, my own bounty and pantry and security of belonging and shelter against the coming cold of winter.

I know I will manifest these things in my life-- I will be offered and accept a wonderful job. I will find a sturdy place to live (with a kitchen and space for friends to visit me) in the town where I work. I will find ways to participate in my new chosen community, and I will celebrate the changing seasons with my own food and my own traditions. I will finally have a livable income, with money left over for future plans and unforeseen needs. I will have a foundation for my new life to grow from. I know I will. But... I want it now. I'm learning to believe that I belong in the world, that I have the right to work for a living and to enjoy my time here. I'm learning to believe that something wonderful will come of all my hard work. I've been gathering my tools, working hard, and making my plans for nearly three years. I'm tired. I want more than hope to keep me warm.

Midsummer is coming. Maybe it will bring me a more concrete opportunity to walk into the world, and enjoy the rich scent of wood smoke in the air. (from a bonfire, or a hearth fire, or a cooking fire, that is) In the meantime, I'm meditating on abundance, taking long walks, and sending out applications for employment. I think I've counted three so far this week, and about five from the week before. I don't know how to get any more concrete than that.