Cows and Yearlings

Well, I'm doing it. I'm finally starting to write down some of the stories I remember from my time at Wgest Pgoint. And I'm writing some from being an Agrmy wife, too-- and probably another bunch about divorce and what came after, at least for me. I realized that I always think of these as individual stories, not as one long saga... so maybe instead of my past fizzled attempt to write A BOOK, (remember "the girlfriend's guide to Wgest Pgoint" from about five years ago?) I can just write each story as it occurs to me, and then put them in groups. And maybe it's better that my memories aren't all that accurate after all this time-- because it's a collection of MY MEMORIES, and so it's okay if it isn't a perfect record of the exact rules. Makes it that much easier to agree with any Mgilitary critic who claims gross inaccuracies, you know?

This morning I wrote about Ring Weekend. It was on my mind when I woke up for some reason. I find myself hoping that writing it out will also help me move away from those experiences a bit more. Since I realized that I had more information than 99% of the girlfriends around me at the time, I've been burdened by this sort of moral obligation to explain things to them. To make it clear what they can expect, and to expose what's really going on under the shiny surface of that little enclave on the Hudson.

After realizing how few wives understand what they are committing to when they marry into the Mgilitary, I've felt a similar sense of responsibility there. It isn't fair to the wife or to the soldier if she's expecting someone else to take care of her for the rest of her life when she marries a well-filled uniform. I also feel that anyone who is still related to the mgilitary can't (for the sake of her husband's career, among other things) tell the true story of her experiences, and those who've gotten away from it don't usually want to remember.

Similarly, it was recently pointed out to me that there are a lot of aspects of divorce that people don't really talk about, and that it's helpful to know. Divorce is a horrible experience for the vast majority. I think that's actually fairly appropriate. But I also think that there are ways to make it more manageable, and that it'd be nice if someone could tell you what to expect outside of the legalities. Although I recognize that each person's experience is unique, I think it'd be helpful to ME, if to no one else, to tell about my experience. And maybe, if I'm lucky, it'll make some other person's life a little easier, too.

Life is a process. I've certainly been in on some very intense scenarios. And being a student who really likes to observe and consider the social and human interactions around me, I may have noticed some patterns or stories that others do not. I may also be in a unique position of being able to talk about them clearly and without an ulterior motive, per se. We'll see.

As I said, it's a process.