New Beginnings

I don't do New Years Resolutions-- I do Life Altering Personal Commitments to Change. (aka LAPC2)

'Tis the season, and all that. If you were wondering about the alarm clock purchase and other of my personal resolves, Read On! If you wanted to know more about my friend's weird New Years traditions (or live in the South, and want to be sure she got them right)-- here is the link.

I have started a new job to compliment the new year. Or rather, I have returned to a job I once held, but in a new form and at a new place, and with a new appreciation. I'm a nanny-- possibly even an au pair! (Totally different designation, and parents appreciate you more because you are "educated" and/or "from overseas.") On the days I nanny, I have to get up at about 5am. It's a bit painful, as I haven't gotten used to my new schedule yet. I do, however, have a new alarm clock. The old alarm had two options- radio alarm (easy to sleep through, as I used to take naps to rock music in college), or sudden heart attack at 50 decibels. Ouch! On the good side of the scale, when I finally arrive at work, I get to cuddle a really cute baby, whose nick-name is "Pork Chop," and read happy books all day to a little boy who calls me "Spicy." (No relation to the pop band, thank you god.) I tell you, life is GOOD!

Apparently, they don't make the previously coveted light-brightening alarm clocks for the common masses anymore, though I SWEAR I saw one in the last "in-flight-magazine" I read. Of course... the items available for purchase in those ridiculous magazines are not really for the people who can't afford to fly first class, anyway. (sigh)
Much preferable, and harder for my psyche to ignore at 5am, my new alarm sounds like church bells. Or, alternately, my grandmother's creepy hall clock. Both impart a certain level of moral responsibility to be at work on time. There's nothing like a swift kick in the conscience to get you out of bed! AND, as a bonus, I can go to sleep to the sound of crickets, wind chimes, or seagulls. The wind chimes are a bit too close to church bells for me, and the seagulls remind me too much of colic-y baby, so I chose the crickets. ...This is me being positive, just in case you couldn't tell.

As part of this new delightful routine, I'm practicing my Tai Chi in the mornings, followed by school work when I'm too awake to avoid it: After I work out the pre-dawn unfocused stares, and before the after-lunch yawns hit. I have a new bedtime, too-- and a new budget to keep me out of trouble between times. Yeah. Just when I thought that between office work and school work, they'd bury me with my fingers welded to the keyboard-- here comes a change of pace!

Call me a dork-- I'm actually looking forward to the possibility of getting my school work done ahead of time. I repeat-- Ahead of Time! That last-minute unedited rush worked for me in high school and even in my undergrad program... (though I'm not sure I'd even get accepted at my old school now-- their new enrollment standards give me nosebleed) but I just can't seem to get the same good grades from turning in half-arsed assignments in Grad School. And the work is HARDER this time around! Of course, this time I'm actually maintaining a home (not shoveling out a dorm room), fixing my own food (not making trips to the cafeteria), and earning my own wages (not subsisting on a combination of parental handouts and school-supplemented work-study scholarships) --in my free time between classes.

I've noticed it costs more to keep me these days, too. I guess I could lose the car and gain some house-mates... but I can't even begin to tell you how GOOD it feels to state the decisions that are best for me, and know that's the end of the conversation. (Unless I'm on the phone with my parents, of course. Then, even if they gasp!* agree with my decision, it'll be hours before they actually communicate that approval.)

*Not responsible for offended sensibilities, bad word choices, or childish situations. For a more adult assessment of my parents than I've given thus far, and their quest to help me make a good life for myself whether I want it or not, see future blog entries. Unrated, 28 years and counting.

A Post Saved Is A Post Posted

Wow. I just wrote my usual long thoughtful blog entry. I re-read the entry. I edited it. I tried, for the first time, to add photos. Twice. Then I tried to move the location of the photos within the post. Notice I haven't yet said "I hit save." Yeah.

So... to recap what you will never now read, and I don't have the patience or the time to try and recreate...
Here are the pictures of a great wall mural and some quilted tapestries I've recently created, and wanted to celebrate by including:

I get sentimental and appreciative at this time of year. "Gag me with a spoon!"
(This all made sense in the original, I swear.)

The First Wive's Club is a great movie about three middle-aged women becoming empowered through their friendship at a time when each of their husbands has left them for a younger woman. One woman's mother says to her, "You're 46, you have a husband, you have a daughter. You're very happy. You don't need self-esteem!" It's a funny movie, and I love how the women don't hate men, but end up not feeling dependent on them or controlled by them any more. It's liberating.

Here are some of the women I want to thank for empowering me and sharing their great wisdom, even though they aren't rich movie stars: the Beautifuls, the musician, the school principals, the borrowed mothers of my friends, the muddy librarian, the business woman, the Scorpio, the stampers, and the artist's counselor. Thanks.
(Remember, I'm re-capping.)

One of my all-time favorite movie quotes is from Miss Congeniality. "I'm tired, I'm hungry, I have gel in my hair, and I'm armed-- Don't mess with me."

More another time.

The Darkest Time of the Darkest Night

There is always a big hullabaloo about starting fresh for the New Year-- as though somehow resetting our clocks and changing out our wall calendars is the same as resetting our daily routine and throwing out all our bad habits. That hypnotic count down from ten to zero, and the huge wave of noise and happy celebration are like the snap of a therapist's fingers to bring us back to reality, fully healed from what came before. Rubbish.

As my friend can tell you (Link to that Entry), what really matters is not eating anything that scratches backwards, and only doing what you WANT to do ALL YEAR on the day that sets the pace for it. Resolutions Shnezolutions!

I can remember sitting and thinking about my habits and my life each December, knowing that everyone was going to ask me what my resolutions were for the new year... and trying hella hard to come up with something good. I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I eat healthy 75% of the time. What else do people quit or start cold-turkey at New Years? (Seriously- if you've got a good one, I want to hear about it.)

This year, I was flipping through the January Oprah magazine (released in early December) as I stood in line with over $75 worth of groceries to get me through the last three days before I go visit my family for Christmas. I figured I needed all the comfort food I could get. Anyway, I had just started to worry about coming up with a good resolution to tell everyone about for New Years. (Notice I didn't say I was actually planning to DO it.) The cover says "Be the woman you want to be! Why it's so hard to change yourself-- a revolutionary guide to making it happen." Hey-Presto! I'll bet there are some GREAT resolution ideas in there! How naive.

There it was, on page 57. "Self-Transformation 101" Two simple steps.
Oprah changed my life.

Okay, well, so I actually snort with laughter at the absurdity of that overstated claim. And I'm not actually planning to change my life forever at the moment the ball touches down on December 31st. But those two simple ideas, and the two steps accompanying them did make me think about my life in a different way-- about all the things I've discovered that I WANT in my life, but haven't actually been able to include on a regular basis. This year, I'm not making grand resolutions. I'm making personal awarenesses, and accessing the resources to follow through on them. There is a whopping difference between the two approaches.

What follows is called a teaser.
The first question you've got to ask yourself is this: "Do I know why I want to make this change?" For the rest of this awesome two-step process, I suggest you get your own copy of Oprah's Magazine for January 2007. Check out page 57, and if you really want to think deep-- I just turned that page, and discovered two more steps to the process. Oops. I'm not sure I'll read them, though. Steps one and two have already got me going in a good direction. Not bad for two weeks to New Years!

If you're curious about my own plans, here are the steps I plan to take first:
-Get a recording of the song in Legally Blonde that gets my
"I am going to MAKE it, and make it GOOD!" going.
-Get a light-brightening alarm and set it for 5:15am.
-Set regular radio alarm for 6am.
-Set second regular radio alarm for 8pm. (no, this is not to help me wake up)

I'll let you know how it goes.