Whydoi

I have to laugh at myself. Often.

For example, when it comes to dating, I've learned just how easy it is to have very conflicting wants. I've met a man who actually likes to talk, and listen, and to whom I like to talk and listen, too. But last night, after making marketing calls for a couple of hours, and then coaching for a couple of hours, my throat hurt, and the idea of talking to anyone about anything made my voice and my brain hurt.

So, instead of calling CatMan, and falling into a long conversation, I emailed him. And said how much I did NOT want to talk. I didn't clarify that talking to ANYONE would have been unappealing, and I was so tired that I doubt my email would have made much rational sense to anyone. I also think I asked him out to a movie this weekend. But I couldn't swear to that.

This morning? The first thing I did was RUSH to email to see if he'd responded yet. Responded to what? My apparent desire not to interact with him? ...before 7am on a work day?

And then I started to laugh. Last time I checked, my life was about me. And being tired and taking care of myself was a GOOD thing. I'd forgotten how easy it is to get swept into relationship, and how hard I find it to think of myself and my needs when I'm in relationship with someone I really care about. The good news is that I noticed myself being silly, and can now make a different choice.

So I'll call CatMan when he gets home from work tonight, and maybe we can enjoy a good conversation then. I think it'll be okay. I think maybe we don't have to call out the Nagtional Guard on this one. You think?