Blatant Reminders

I find that once you get past the question of why they joined, most Argmy guys fall into two categories: Honor-Bound, and Rat-Pack. Neither group has many scruples against a good mug of beer, a good fist fight, and a good game of explosives now and then... but The HB type is very upright, even when he sits, and appears very clean cut, and knows how not to swear in front of children and old people. The RP type is more of a down-and-dirty kinda guy, who lives for the thrills, and really feels that line about "BROTHERS in arms," deeply.

I've got a new friend in the RP style of things--- and tonight he brought over a buddy of his of the HB variety. To talk with his mom (a good friend of mine whom I was also visiting with at the time), and get advice, in relation to something that happened relating to HB's divorce. And since that was a topic that I'd had experience in, they asked me to be part of the conversation. I was pleased to be there, and enjoyed the talk, but didn't really get to do more than offer "morale" support, if you know what I mean. Can I tell you that I have specifically NOT BEEN in the company of single sexy males my own age for a good 12-18 months now?!

So the universe is taunting me, with a Blatant Reminder that I am not as mature as I'd like to think, and it was so ridiculous that I had to laugh along-- You know, between coughing fits due to a sudden and unexplained allergy attack that occurred right after HB sat down next to me, and shaking like a leaf with a sudden (and more easily explained) attack of stage fright. I tell you, this HB guy was HOT!! And it became clear to me that I do indeed have a "type." Tall, muscular, reserved, funny, and intelligent. With a military hair cut and a ramrod straight spine. Who look like they'd be good cuddlers. Who sat next to me in the couch.

And all I could think was that I didn't want anybody to NOTICE that I was shaking like a teenager with a crush. And that somebody somewhere was LAUGHING AT ME because of course, here I am again, in the company of and attracted to... a soldgier. Great. And, even better, one who is just getting out of a long-term relationship (read: marriage). So I firmly reminded myself that this is EXACTLY why I still need some serious therapy (read: counseling) before I try to have a serious dating relationship ever again. I even made the same suggestion to him. Because I'm still attracted to the same kind of guy that I thought my X was. And I clearly stated that I'd be happy to talk "divorce" with him if he needed to-- which helped me put up a "possible-friend-only" boundary in my mind. (And actually possibly make it USEFUL that they included me in the conversation at all.) Easier not to obsess that way. Like I'm doing here. Over a total stranger who's just a nice, funny, intelligent guy in a bad situation.

See, this guy just happens to be an ex soldier with time in Iraq under his belt who is now in the coastguard while he gets his masters in Ornithology. DAMN he was hot!!! And basically single. And smart, and seemed like he'd be really easy to talk with on just about any topic. Oh and get this-- when his wife brought up the marriage issues, he HE *HE* suggested marriage counseling. And she turned him down. And I was shaking like a leaf for most of his brief visit (he chose to sit next to me on the couch-- did I tell you that already?)-- and had a minor allergy attack. Oh so segxy of me. And I am NOT INTERESTED IN HIM... and that's good because I doubt he'd consider dating me. And because he has, as he put it, a whole new five-year plan now. I thought I was the only person with one of those... Oh, right-- and because he's FUgCKING MILITARY. And one of RP's drinking buddies. RP who is only sometimes on the right side of the law, and is somehow always sure he's right... (And who I really like, but would never want to get on his bad side, which I somehow know I would do if I ever tried to hang out with him NOT at his mom's house. Sigh.)

But it was (and I do admit this, with good humor) kinda funny that the only guy I meet for about 16 months who actually seems attractive to me-- is military. Where are the cameras??? I just know this is another one of those ridiculous episodes of the sitcom that is my life, wherein my grand statements of "never again" and suchlike self-vindicating bull are put to the test and found to be horribly (hilariously?) full of holes.

(And, really, I hope he has good friends who can do more than get angry on his behalf to help him deal with the issues that come up in a messy divorce... I was lucky on that one. With friends like RP, maybe so is he. I love a guy who can acknowledge that sometimes his mom DOES have good advice!)

So yeah-- How was YOUR evening?