I Itch!

Visited my folks this week. Got my car's oil changed, new wiper blades, and readjusted the headlights while I was in town. I call that a productive visit. Mom tried a new recipe on dad and I while I was there, too. It was a very yummy cheesy stew. I'd have enjoyed it more if I hadn't caught her picking some of the grated cheese off her shirt and putting it into the stew pot when she was cooking. She's a clean person- it isn't that- it's just that she uses glasses to read and see things up close... and she uses glasses to see the TV and to drive... but she doesn't actually "wear glasses" if you know what I mean. It could easily have been a bit of something NOT CHEESE, and she might not have noticed when she put it in the pot. And there WAS an awful lot of cat hair on her shirt, too...

Similarly, I found a flea on me while sitting at the dining table the next morning, listening to my mom give me her advice on how to approach religion. I've already got my own opinions about that, so it was one of those listen-and-nod kind of conversations. I drowned the flea, and told mom about it. She can't believe it. She's NEVER seen a flea in the house! Somehow, I'm not surprised... and it doesn't make me rule out the possibility that they have a flea problem. See note about her glasses, above. In fact, the garage has been crawling with them for years. I hated going out there in high school because they'd jump on my legs, and the spider webs would catch on my face and hair, and the window was full of dead bugs and living spiders.

Five minutes later, a box elder bug (basically harmless, but they are always invading my parents' house en mass, via the kitchen and dining rooms-- it's been ten years or more now that they keep finding ways to get in, and my parents just keep trapping the bugs, and throwing them out the sliding door) did a low fly-by-- which I heard-- and then landed in my hair. I found him there by accident a moment later. I'm calm about bloody injuries (it's amazing how many people slice the end of their finger off with bread knives every year!), infectious diseases, dramatic relationship situations, violent animals, you name it... but spiders running or jumping toward me, and bugs in my hair are just FREAKY!!!

So I did one of those "NO YOU DON'T AND I'M NOT GOING TO TOUCH YOU FOR MORE THAN .2 SECONDS WHILE I MAKE SURE OF THAT" wild gyrating arm dances to dislodge the bug, and felt itchy and crawly for the rest of the day. I'm still not sure I shouldn't have gotten out the cat's flea meds and put some on the back of MY neck when I got home!

Between these little invasions of my personal space, and my stilted conversation with my mom about religion, I dagmn well ITCH!!!! And all I really wanna do is have a Japanese soaking tub installed in the middle of my living room so I can sit and soak in some lavender-and-thyme scented water (creepy crawly bugs of many kinds hate these plants' essential oils) for the next 24 hours. But I have homework to do, and a job to work, and bills to pay, and a cat to pacify because I was gone for over 24 hours without warning her and she thought I'd left her forever, so she spilled the trash in the bathroom looking for used Q-tips to sustain her (she loves ear wax-- don't ask). Anyway, life is just complicated, and dealing with having my personal space invaded over and over in a very short period of time did not improve my sense of well-being.

On another front, speaking of itches that need to be scratched, I went to a birthday party tonight. I knew the birthday boy, his girlfriend, and myself. Everyone else was from his work, or was somehow associated with it. Nice people. Just busy talking with each other about engineering and drinking good beer, loudly. The talking AND the drinking. I met a couple of really nice women that I hope to meet again at future get-togethers... and I got to hang out with a lot of eligible (except for their girlfriends/wives/loud drinking, sadly) and successful strange men, all about my age and all in one place, for the first time since my divorce. I realized three important facts tonight:
One: I'm interested in practicing my flirting skills.
Two: I do not want to waste my time on guys already in relationships, gay guys, and jerks.
Three: I have no fugking idea what the rules of dating are anymore, and I don't think I actually ever did, come to think of it.

I'm in trouble. Big trouble. Because I found another itch-- and it's SO hard not to scratch those unconscious itches like wanting to flirt or flea bites or yelling at people who push your buttons-- however unconsciously... and I know for a FACT that flirting with guys is one itch I am NOT prepared to deal with. I plan to go through a lot more counseling about boundaries, about healthy relationships, and about ME before I get into anything even resembling another us. So these little urges to flirt are going to get a BIG DOSE of ugly pink calamine lotion the next time I feel them. Somehow. Maybe my "NO YOU DON'T" bug-in-the-hair dance would scare all the cute boys (and, hopefully, also the jerks, since I seem to be magnetically attracted to jerks) away, and the problem could just solve itself naturally... because I've learned that even when I'm NOT trying to flirt, and am just being my usual nice warm personable self, I attract self-centered boys who don't bother to ask their buddies if I'm interested in them or not-- they just assume they are king, and start looking for some sugar, baby. And I just don't have much patience for fools these days-- especially when they look just like me, only with lots of pink calamine lotion all over.